My Journey to Humanity - a Beautiful MESS
If you've ever questioned why humans are so complicated, you’re not alone. Our emotions, relationships, and decisions often feel like an elaborate puzzle—sometimes thrilling, sometimes confusing, and occasionally frustrating.
But here’s the good news: there’s a framework to make sense of it all. Think of it as a user manual for being human—except, instead of clear instructions, it’s more like assembling IKEA furniture: tricky at first, but worth it in the end.
The Six Human Needs
Everything we do—consciously or unconsciously—is driven by these six fundamental needs
Primary Needs
Love & Connection – We seek relationships, friendships, and communities to feel a sense of belonging
Significance – We want to feel important, valued, and needed
Certainty – We crave security, stability, and predictability in our lives
Uncertainty – We also need variety, challenge, and new experiences to keep life exciting
Spiritual Needs
Growth – We strive to evolve, learn, and become better versions of ourselves
Contribution – We find fulfillment in helping others and making a difference
💡 The Rule of 3: If something meets three or more of these needs at once, we form a deep attachment—sometimes leading to addictions or lifelong passions.
💡 The Rule of 6: If something meets all six needs, we become a raving fan, fully committed to it.
Masculine vs. Feminine Energy
Understanding masculine and feminine energy can explain many relationship dynamics.
Masculine Energy Traits
Seeks freedom and independence
Solves problems and simplifies complexity
Feels appreciated through respect and admiration
Leaves when things become overwhelming
Feminine Energy Traits
Seeks love, connection, and emotional depth
Amplifies emotions - makes small things big
Feels appreciated through understanding and validation
Hangs-on and nurtures relationships
Neither is better—they just function differently. When we understand these energies, we create stronger & balanced connections.
Why Relationships Fail (and How to Prevent It)
Most relationships don’t end suddenly—they fade over time. Here’s why:
1. Loss of Attraction
Over time, we start noticing flaws in our partners that we previously ignored
It’s rarely about physical looks—it’s about emotional disconnection
2. Negative Emotion Stacking
Small annoyances pile up until they become resentment
Avoiding conversations leads to frustration and emotional withdrawal
3. Loss of Commitment
When appreciation disappears, so does effort
If both partners stop meeting each other’s needs, the relationship starts breaking down
4. Incompatibility
If a relationship is full of stress and conflict, your brain begins associating that person with negativity
No couple is naturally compatible - relationships require constant adjustment and communication
💡 Key Takeaway: Every relationship thrives when both partners are meeting each other’s needs and actively communicating, appreciating, and aligning expectations
Shadows: The Parts of Ourselves We Ignore
Ever met someone who instantly annoys you? There’s a reason for that.
The people who trigger us often reflect parts of ourselves we don’t want to acknowledge. Try Shadow Integration if you want to understand yourself better. It is the process of understanding the hidden parts of our personality
Shadow Integration Questions for YOU
Who triggers me the most? Why?
What qualities do I admire in others but feel I lack?
What moments of extreme happiness or sadness shaped me?
Why do certain people or situations make me uncomfortable?
Once we recognize and integrate these hidden parts, we become less reactive and more self-aware
The Purpose of Pain
Pain isn’t meaningless - it serves a purpose
Pain Exists To
Create hunger for growth - It pushes us to seek change.
Redirect our life’s direction - When things fall apart, it often leads us to something better.
Teach us important lessons - The universe keeps sending us the same struggles until we finally learn from them.
Instead of resisting pain, ask yourself
What is this experience teaching me?
How can I grow from it?
What if I stopped fighting it and embraced the lesson?
Pain can either break us or evolve us - the choice is OURS
Final Thoughts
Being human is messy, unpredictable, and beautiful all at once
When we understand our needs, our energies, and our shadows, we start navigating life with more awareness, less frustration, and a whole lot of clarity
So, what’s the next step? Keep learning, keep growing, and most importantly - enjoy the ride