5 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was 20
Entering adulthood, many assume that hard work and good intentions are enough to guarantee success. However, real-world experience often challenges these assumptions. This thesis explores five critical lessons that individuals rarely anticipate in their early twenties but ultimately shape their long-term personal and professional trajectories. These lessons are: being good at your job is not enough, life offers no grace periods, adaptability is key, parenting lacks a universal guidebook, and everything comes at a cost reveal the realities of career advancement, resilience, and the complexities of human relationships. By analyzing these truths through practical frameworks and real-world applications, this study provides a guide to thriving in an unpredictable world.
Thanks to Rick Pham, I learnt about something super valuable!
1. Being Good at Your Job is Not Enough
The Myth of Meritocracy
Many enter the workforce believing that competence and diligence alone will secure career growth. However, real success hinges on factors beyond skill, such as reliability, visibility, and interpersonal influence.
Framework: The Career Acceleration Model
Baseline Competence: Doing your job well is the entry ticket, not the winning move.
Reliability & Visibility: Employees who deliver ahead of deadlines and anticipate needs gain trust.
Strategic Positioning: Aligning with company culture and fitting into the organization's power structure is critical for promotions.
Value Multiplication: Contributing beyond the job description—mentoring, innovating, and building relationships—accelerates career growth.
Example
An employee who consistently submits reports on time is seen as competent, but one who submits them early, adds strategic insights, and mentors new hires becomes indispensable.
Key Takeaway
Being exceptional requires going beyond expectations - delivering early, being dependable, and aligning with cultural fit and strategic goals.
2. In Life, There Are No Grace Periods
The Harsh Reality of Instant Consequences
Unlike structured academic settings with clear rules and second chances, real life does not afford grace periods. Failure to act swiftly and strategically often results in missed opportunities.
Framework: The Adaptability Curve
Preparation: Always assume that stability is temporary.
Response Time: The faster you adjust, the less impact change has.
Proactivity Over Reaction: Waiting for clarity often means falling behind.
Example
A high-performing employee assumes their work alone will earn them a promotion. They fail to network or communicate their ambitions. When an opportunity arises, a colleague with stronger internal relationships secures the position.
Key Takeaway
Opportunities do not wait. Visibility, responsiveness, and alignment with strategic priorities determine success.
3. Learn to Pivot - Nothing Goes According to Plan
The Illusion of Strategic Certainty
Plans rarely unfold as expected. Rigid adherence to a strategy often leads to stagnation or failure when conditions shift.
Framework: The Pivot Cycle
Recognize Early Signs of Change
Assess New Realities Objectively
Make Small, Iterative Adjustments
Execute Without Delay
Example
When Pepsi introduced in Vietnam 6 months earlier and Coke came second; only do the things that matter to capture the market, instead of fighting on all fronts
Key Takeaway
Flexibility beats perfection. The best strategies are those that evolve dynamically rather than rigidly adhering to initial assumptions.
4. There is No Guidebook for Parenting
The Complexity of Raising Children
Parenting is often romanticized as a structured journey, but in reality, each child presents unique challenges that defy standard solutions.
Framework: The Adaptive Parenting Model
Observation: Identify individual needs rather than relying on generalized advice.
Flexibility: Adjust parenting strategies as children develop.
Emotional Intelligence: Recognize that traditional discipline may not work for every child.
Example
Two children raised in the same household with identical rules exhibit entirely different personalities and learning styles, requiring tailored approaches.
Key Takeaway
No universal guidebook exists for parenting. Success lies in adaptability, emotional awareness, and continuous learning.
5. There is No Free Lunch- Everything Comes at a Cost
The Reality of Value Exchange
Nothing in life, including relationships, is truly free. Every interaction involves an exchange of time, effort, or resources.
Framework: The Value Contribution Equation
Direct Costs: Money, effort, time.
Opportunity Costs: What is sacrificed in pursuit of another goal.
Emotional Costs: Stress, energy, and relational maintenance.
Example
Even love requires continuous effort. A relationship where one partner stops adding value deteriorates over time, highlighting that even personal connections require active contribution.
Key Takeaway
Everything requires investment. To sustain relationships, careers, and success, one must continuously contribute and evolve.
Conclusion
Success in adulthood requires an understanding that talent alone is insufficient, change is inevitable, and relationships demand ongoing value. These five lessons, when internalized early, provide a roadmap for navigating the unpredictable complexities of work, life, and relationships.